Read Upon Bathroom Walls
"This is a teepee
where you peepee.
This is not a wigwam
where you beat your tomtom."(Submitted via email; location not specified)
where you peepee.
This is not a wigwam
where you beat your tomtom."(Submitted via email; location not specified)
lll
"Here I sit in a misty vapor
Some damn fool stole the toilet paper
My bus is late and I cannot linger
Lookout butt here comes my finger" (From a bus station bathroom in Philadelphia)
lll
"This is where Napoleon blew his bone apart"(Scratched into the wood barrier between urinals in
a Bodega bay campsite bathroom)
lll
"I fu*ked your Mom"
(written underneath) "Go home dad you're drunk."(Somewhere in Orlando, FL)
lll
"Those who write on shithouse walls roll their shit into little balls.
Those who read those words of wit, eat those little balls of shit."(A men's restroom in Sierra College, Rocklin, CA)
lll
"If a tree falls in the forest, and there's nobody
around to hear it - who gives a fu*k?"
A men's room in an Atlanta bookstore
lll
(arrow pointing to toilet paper dispenser)
"Turban repair kit"(Porta toilet, Pittsburgh, PA)
"Turban repair kit"(Porta toilet, Pittsburgh, PA)
lll
(Written on the front of a condom machine)
"This gum tastes like shit!"(Booches Bar and Grill, University of Missouri,Columbia)
lll
"Hi, I'm Gonorrhea.
Have a seat and I'll be right with you"(Submitted via email; location not specified)
lll
"There was an old man from Peru,
Who fell asleep in his canoe.
While dreaming of Venus,
He played with his penis,
and awoke in a boat full of goo." (On a bathroom wall in the Coz Chemical building,
Northbridge MA)
lll
"Here I sit broken hearted
paid a dime only farted.
Second time took a chance,
saved my dime shit my pants."(In a bathroom stall in a Winnipeg restaurant)
lll
"In the days of old
when knights were bold
and toilets weren't invented.
They'd drop there load
by the road
and ride away contented."(In a bathroom stall in a Winnipeg restaurant)
lll
"BEER DRINKERS LAMENT:
I sit inside this dim lit stall,
and scribe these words upon the wall
For relief has come to me alas
cause I've expelled some noxious gas.
And the reason for this woeful wit,
Is I loaded up my pants with shit."
lll
"Fix this toilet!"
The response: "We're actors, not plumbers."
The response to the response: "Then act like plumbers."
The response: "We're actors, not plumbers."
The response to the response: "Then act like plumbers."
(At a playhouse theatre in Boston)
lll
"Did you know that this porcelain instrument upon
which you are sitting is
really a very powerful telescope?
really a very powerful telescope?
Spread your legs and stick your head down
between them.
between them.
Look way down and over to the back.
There! See it? Uranus!"
There! See it? Uranus!"
lll
"Here I sit, same as ever
Took a shit, pulled the lever
The toilet clogged, the water flowed
Look out world, its the motherload"
Took a shit, pulled the lever
The toilet clogged, the water flowed
Look out world, its the motherload"
lll
It's a wonderous thing the magnificent turd
to describe beauty there's nary a word
some may float while others may sink
some may float while others may sink
but if you pluck them out there'll all going to stink(Lnwood IL. police department latrine.)
lll
"Shithouse poets when they die
should have erected where they lie
in memory of their caustic wit
a monument of solid shit"
(No location specified)
lll
"If you want to crap at ease
put both elbows on your knees
give a grunt,and give a squeeze
and out will come like rotten cheese."(Men's room at Old Sturbridge Village in Sturbridge, Massachusetts)
put both elbows on your knees
give a grunt,and give a squeeze
and out will come like rotten cheese."(Men's room at Old Sturbridge Village in Sturbridge, Massachusetts)
lll
"Here lies the bones of screwy Rick
Cursed at death with a corkscrew dick
Spent his life in a futile hunt
To find a girl with a corkscrew cunt
He found that girl, but now he is dead
The no account bitch had a left-hand thread."(In a bar long since closed in Greensburg, PA)
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11 January 2013 at 08:58
Very witty although the picture of the girls shoulder being fucked is a bit weird!
13 January 2013 at 18:06
Very good, thanks.
13 January 2013 at 21:13
lol good laugh
17 January 2013 at 02:21
Some are quite clever
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