A story of a woman who just turned 47 years old:




When I was 16, I hoped that one day I would have

a boyfriend.




When I was 18, I got a boyfriend, but there was no

passion.




So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest

for life. In college I dated a passionate guy, but he

was too emotional. Everything was an emergency,

he was a drama queen, cried all the time and

threatened suicide.




So I decided I needed a guy with stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable guy but he

was boring. He was totally predictable and never

got excited about anything.




Life became so dull that I decided I needed a guy

with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an

exciting guy, but I couldn't keep up with him.

He rushed from one thing to another, never settling

on anything.




He did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone

he met. He made me miserable as often as happy.

He was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.




So I decided to find a guy with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious guy with

his feet planted firmly on the ground and married him.

He was so ambitious that he divorced me, took everything

I owned, and ran off with my best friend.




I am now 47 And am looking for a guy with a big dick.






*******************





After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, "What the hell happened last night?"


"As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied the wife.






"Piss on him," answered the husband.






"You did," said the wife, "and he fired you."


"Well, fuck him," said the husband.


"I did, and you go back to work in the morning."