LOOK ADULT FUN TIME: FRIDAY FUN

ASK AUNT NASTY

Dear Aunt Nasty,
I have a girl that I'm banging, she lives in the next state, about 350
miles from me, I see her about once a month, and we have a great sexual
relationship and are in love, she is planning on moving in with me this
summer. the problem is oral sex, in that she will not give it to me, I
know she does not like to suck, and this is something that I feel I need
to have a long term relationship work. I could probably coerce her into
doing it, but knowing her heart wasn't into it would probably destroy
the fun in it for me. should I tell her not to move in here with me, and
end the relationship? or should I just let her move here and hope thinks
work out?
Gene

Dear Gene,

My Goodness!! I sometimes think the world has lost all sense of
reality... Your letter is so full of contradictive statements, that I
must insist, you need to seek help for your problem. You obviously
don't know if you are coming or going. How can you have a great sexual
relationship, if you are not getting what you need?
How can you say you are in love, when you are already ending the
relationship before she even moves in?? Oh yeah and since when did a
woman's enjoyment or the lack thereof, make any difference in your
enjoyment of it. Just close your eyes and fantasize. Be a MAN!

And after you receive help from a good therapist...remember Aunt Nasty
loves oral sex, and is reputed to give the best head this side of the
atlantic...

Aunt Nasty

Dear Auntie,
This matter is getting old. (maybe that's the problem) My problemis
still that LEG. You know the one that doesn't want to help much.It seems
that now more than ever it's being LAZY.
Please tell me, how can I get it motivated? Or what do you suggest I do
to encourage it? And don't tell me VIAGRA, the last thing it needs is a
crutch.

Signed
Kansas K_ _ _ _ _

Dear Kansas,
You poor poor thing...You are in terrible shape, aren't you?? There is
an old adage that says "Use it, or lose it!" The more you exercise that
leg, the more you will be able to use it. I suggest that you start by
stroking it at least a little each day, until such time that you have
"assistance". AND I would never suggest Viagra,
If I can't get a man hard by "natural" means then it means he is either
dead or homosexual, and with my oral talents, even the gays don't stand
a chance. I would suggest you cum see me, but from your letters I don't
think you would be "up" to satisfying my voracious hunger! But if you
start a regular "exercise" regime, you might be
able to build up the "stamina to go the distance."

Aunt Nasty

Arnold

A blonde guy goes to the big football game, he has great seats on
the 50 yard line, 8 rows up, perfect.

Just before kickoff he hears someone behind him yelling,

"Arnold, we're up here, Arnold!"

He turns around and misses the kickoff! A short while later, just
as the quarterback throws a long bomb, the same guy starts
yelling,

"Hey Arnold, we're up here, Arnold!!"

Again he turns around and again he misses the play

This goes on for every big play. He hears the guy shouting,

"Hey Arnold, look up here!" He turns around and misses the play.

Finally, fuming mad, he turns around, pulls out his binoculars
and scans the crowd for the guy doing all the yelling. He
eventually spots him, after missing yet another big play. He runs
up the stands, nearly to the top of the stadium. Pulls the guy
out into the aisle, picks him up by the lapels and shouts,

"Shut-up, my name isn't Arnold!!"

+++++

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from skipping."