LOOK ADULT FUN TIME: MY PRIVATE PART DIED

MY PRIVATE PART DIED

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.

Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,

'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace..

'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'

Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little
crazy,

she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please

accept my condolences.'

The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the

hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas.

He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said,

'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.

Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'

'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace.

'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.

'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that,

but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'

(You've gotta love this .)

'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'

IF YOU ARE NOT LAUGHING, SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU.

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Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and leave them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can't believe it! He says, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The other missionary says, "I just peed in the soup."

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Q: What's the first sign that you've been kidnapped by an idiot?
A: He puts the return address on the ransom note.

Q: What's the second sign that you've been kidnapped by an idiot?
A: When your parents ask for proof that you're alive, he sends you home to tell them.