Girls Night Out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been
decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and
walking home they need to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one
of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties,
used them and threw them away. Her friend however was lucky enough to
salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded
to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and
said, "These damn girls night out have got to stop. My wife came home
last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine
came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, `
"From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you.'"
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The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex.

It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."
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What can make you feel really good or be very annoying?
A woman's mouth!
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An old couple married for 50+ years hadn't had sex in a very long time and the wife was getting very frustrated. One night when the old man was sitting on the couch watching the game she went into the bedroom and took of all her clothes except for a red towel that she put around her neck like a cape. She then leapt into the living room exclaiming, "IT'S SUPERPUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!" The old man replied, "I'll take the soup."